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» GUIDE TO EATING PUSSY

Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it. Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life (including getting good head later on), so it’s time we broke it down. Like this.

» What is a Hotwife?

What is a “Hot Wife?” The term hot wife is often used to describe a happily married woman who enjoys intimate relations with other men, with her loving husband’s full and genuine support, but where he typically agrees to be completely monogamous with his wife. Both spouses derive satisfaction from the wife’s extramarital pleasures. The husband is not necessarily submissive, although the couple may role-play that the wife relentlessly flaunts her “infidelity” in front of her husband. It is understandable that this arrangement can appeal to women with a polygamous nature, but it is far from obvious why so many husbands are genuinely into this seemingly unfair arrangement. The husband is turned on by his wife’s adultery, whether this happens as part of a heterosexual threesome where she first has sex with her lover and then her husband, or if the husband is not present during her adventure, waits impatiently for his wife to come home from her date so that he can make love to her. You are forgiven if you wrongly believe that the husband is hoping for his wife to reaffirm to him that only he can truly satisfy her sexually. No, her husband gets more excited the more the wife enjoys her extramarital lovers! When the hot wife is back in her husband’s arms, she will often graphically describe the intensity of the orgasms she has just experienced with another man or men. The wife’s sexual pleasure should not be confused with her romantic feelings – she is only in love with her husband. To minimize the risk that she develops a romantic interest in a lover, the couple has typically agreed to certain rules so that she for example only sees the same lover a few times, that there is a significant age difference, and that her lovers never are part of the couple’s regular social, professional or family circles. Hot wife relationships are often first suggested by the husband who has fantasized about, if he ever gets enough courage to overcome his embarrassment and bring it up with his wife. The wife tends at best to react with complete amazement, at worst with severe hostility – even if she herself has fantasized about being with other men. She does so for good reasons: whilst there are common biological reasons for why the husband can be excited by his wife’s adultery, the reverse is rarely true and she therefore suspects that her husband has some other sinister reason for asking. Does he feel guilt because he has cheated on her? Doesn’t he love her anymore? Is he bisexual? Is he suggesting this as a first step to later justify that he should have the right to be with other women? Little does she know that the husband’s thought of his own wife having sex with another man tends to rank as the second or third most preferred fantasy amongst married men, and it increases with how long the couple has been married. It is one of life’s ironies that men with hotwives often become very committed to themselves being faithful the more promiscuous their wives are. The husband typically finds his wife sexier than ever before – even when they first met – and the excitement of competing for his own wife highly erotic and exciting. There are accounts from wives that upon becoming hotwives, not only did they experience great sex and fun, but their husbands became more loving and romantic, bought them more gifts and vacations and started to take a greater interest in household duties – classical actions by a man seeking to gain a lady’s affection. Few wives can even in the slightest imagine that her no-nonsense husband who most definitely wears the pants in the house, possibly could be the type who would greet her with a passionate kiss in the early morning as she comes back to a picked-up house, knowing full well that his wife has just spent hours in bed being pleasured by one of her lovers! Now, before too many wives get their hopes up – only a minority of husbands – although a sizeable minority – would react in this way. And most husbands even in this minority will react with traditional jealous rage if he catches his wife cheating on him and where no hot wife arrangement has been discussed and agreed to in advance. The husband’s complete trust in his wife is fundamental for him to accept a hot wife arrangement. 27 Responses to “What is a “Hot Wife?”” on 19 Jan 2007 at 1:27 pm1lustymale54 I understand what and why a husband would get sexually excited watching his wife have sex with other men. I am one of thies men. However my wife would not go along with me. I have asked her to do this for me. I’d love to see her with one or more men. To see the delight and pleasure she would receive from the experience. She refused to, stating that I was the only man she wants. Most men would get angry and jelious if their wife had sex with other men, mine won’t and I want her to. She is a good woman and i don’t push it. I have been involved with other mens wifes when they watched or joined in, in the sex. I love it and would like to find others who injoy it too

» 8 Signs She's Interested In You

8 Signs She's Interested In You Men hate it when women reject them. There's nothing worse than having your ego smashed to little pieces when the woman of your dreams turns you down for a date. You really thought she was interested, but somehow you must have misread her signals. From the male point of view, women are often far too subtle and indirect -- or just plain confusing -- when revealing their romantic interest. And, yes, women often send mixed messages because they're not sure of what's going on inside their own heads. What most guys are looking for is a set of clear female signals that tell them when a woman is definitely warm for their form. Does this exist? Well, here are a few signs that should tell you that she probably wants you to ask her out.

1- She's "in your face"

Suddenly, you'll become aware of her presence everywhere -- she "just happens" to show up wherever you hang out; you keep passing her in the hallway at work; she "accidentally" bumps into you; she maneuvers to stand close to you at a club. What she's doing is trying to get you to notice her and giving you an opportunity to make the first move. The problem with this female strategy is that a lot of guys are completely oblivious to it and, consequently, throw away a lot of chances to hook up. Men are direct; women are indirect. So, next time a woman starts appearing regularly in your path, be aware that she's likely doing it on purpose.

2- She has all the right moves

A lot of people say that bodies can't lie. Nature has programmed humans with a complex set of non-verbal flirting signals that just flow freely when people are interested in someone. These range from the widening of the iris when looking at the object of desire to more overt displays, such as smiling or touching. Here are a few body language cues to watch out for: • She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders.• She leans toward you while talking.• She plays with or tosses her hair.• She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass.• She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.• She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same).• She smiles when you check her out.If you become aware of a cluster of these signals, you can almost be sure that she's giving you the green light for romance.

3- She's never too busy

This is a cardinal rule in the dating game: If a woman is interested in going out with you, she will make herself available. This means that she will give you her work number or e-mail address, she will quickly answer or return your call and she will accept your invitation to get together -- and if she's busy on the day you specify, she will say something like, "Well, I can't this Saturday, but next Saturday would be fine." You'll never hear from an interested woman things like, "I'm really busy right now" or "Let me check my schedule" or "I just got out of a bad relationship, so I'm all mixed up about men." Even if she's actively dating someone else, she will keep the lines of communication open with you for the possibility of future contact.Read on for five more signs she's interested...

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» Looking At Other Women When Your Girl's Around

Two women recently made headlines by capturing people looking at their butts while walking in Los Angeles. They used a hidden camera strapped to the backs of their jeans. Most of the people caught peeking were of the male gender. Surprise, surprise. If they need a title for this intricate experiment and earth-shattering discovery, I’d like to make a suggestion. It’s a very Malcolm Gladwell-type idea.

Men look at women

Of course men look at women’s butts. We check out women from the front and from the back. It comes from our caveman ancestors. It comes down to mate selection.“Have you seen the rack on Ugama?”“Nope. Because I’m too busy staring at her butt when she is bent over by the lake fishing with her teeth.”It’s in our genetic makeup. Get over it, ladies. As long as you have them, we’re going to look at them.The only problem is that men keep getting caught checking out the backsides of women, not the backsides of our WAGs. It’s for this reason that we have to be a little more careful and a little more ingenious when they do catch us in the act. Here are some ways to look at other women when your girl’s around.

Insulting other women

Your girl won’t mind your looking at another woman’s back assets so long as it’s to cut them to shreds. Isn’t making fun of other people one of your favorite pastimes as a couple? “Did you see the size of that chick’s butt? Time to ease up on the fat-filled coffee and bagels in the morning, huh?” Even if the woman has lots of sex appeal and a better rear end than your girl's (which might be the case, since you were looking), you have to pretend it’s the biggest butt you’ve ever seen. If it’s obviously not big at all, find some other fault with it. Just make it a good enough reason to be looking in the first place. “I thought she was hiding packs of hamburger meat in her pockets. I truly did.”We have more tips on how to look at other women next...

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» Her Friends: Get Past Them

You know how it is. You’re out with your buddies and you spot a cute girl at the bar, but she's surrounded by 10 of her friends, all ready to protect her and cockblock you. Women are programmed to fend off potential suitors, weeding out the good ones from the bad. Her friends are not going to make it easy for you. But if you impress them, you’re in. So how does a guy like you get past her friends? Read on and find out.

Read the group’s body language

Pay attention to their body language, because this is key. If a group of girls is huddled in deep conversation, do not interrupt. Clearly they are discussing something that is important to them and, most likely, do not want to be bothered by a random guy. Make like a panther, and watch your prey. Wait for the conversation to flow into something less intense. You’ll notice a relaxation in their body language, and you can use that moment to get past her friends. Better yet, look for a group of women that actually look like they’re having fun. A good cue would be women standing outward instead of toward each other, or a group of women laughing. They’ll be more apt to let you in on the conversation, and chances are you’ll enjoy their company a lot more.

Flirt with her only

Do not under any circumstances try flirting with more than one girl. Maybe you’re trying to hedge your bets with the second in command in case the girl in question doesn’t respond. Maybe you’re just trying to appear cool. Whatever reasons you may have, it’s the wrong move. Don’t check out her friends or say something like, “Your friend is pretty cute too.” You know that Rihanna song “Only Girl (In The World)”? Make her feel like one if you want to get past her friends. Otherwise you’ll turn dream girl off, and her friends will just think you’re a player. And when you try to ask her for her number, chances are you’ll get shot down.

Be friendly

On the flip side, don’t ignore her friends altogether. Being able to talk to everyone at the table shows that you’re comfortable talking to women platonically. This is doubly important if she’s with only one other friend. If she's with a group, it’s a different scenario. But if she’s with only one girl, she won’t want to ditch or ignore her. Women often follow the rule “chicks before dicks.” Plus, you want her friends to like you, so keep charming them; just don’t take it too far. Make nice with her friends, and you’ll come across as natural and sociable rather than as a predator.

Treat her like a lady

Once you’ve established a good rapport with the group, ask her if she would like a drink (and make sure you pay for her). If she gets up to go to the ladies’ room, hold her chair or barstool out for her when she comes back. Help her put on her coat if you guys go outside for a smoke. Old-fashioned chivalry is rare, and it will impress the women in spades. Soon enough, you’ll have them all singing your praises. No matter how egalitarian we become in the workplace, in society, in relationships, or anywhere else, a woman still wants to be treated like a lady. Doing any or all of the above shows that you value her and (after you buy that drink) that you’re anything but cheap.We have three more rules for getting past her friends next...

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» End A Relationship

End A RelationshipThey say that all good things must come to an end. This Player has often refuted that idea, holding that amazing nights on London’s streets or the glow of Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive after dark can stay alive if fully appreciated. A great job can turn into a dream occupation, and lying with a beautiful woman can last forever if one stays in the moment. Sometimes, however, a situation calls for immediate conclusion. What was good has gone bad, and this Player has seen relationships conclude with broken hearts, damaged egos and wrecked reputations. But there are techniques to make a clean break. These steps will help you end a relationship swiftly, respectably and with the class and style that defines a Player.

Be truthful

Avoid lying, even if it’s lying to ease the end. Forego lines such as “it’s not you; it’s me.” Granted, at times, the truth can be massaged and some situations do call for it. In this case, however, anything but the truth will prolong the process, when a quick and short end could suffice it. Skip long, roundabout tales of why things won’t work out, and outline the facts. Mainly, she wants one thing, and you want something else. You're headed in different directions, and, in the end, you two will not make a good, healthy couple. Do make certain that she is aware that there is nothing wrong with her or that her actions led to this end. Stress that this is about differences and incompatibilities, and not about mistakes and blame.

Drift apart through actions

This step is a difficult one to maneuver even for a masterful player; it is a subtle maneuver, not a sudden cold shoulder. It is about detachment. That’s key to end a relationship. Gradually moving away from regular communication (e.g. returning e-mails, texts, Facebook posts, and phone calls less and less) will eventually give her less fuel to pursue the relationship. Planning or agreeing to less dates and time together will initiate a drift in her thoughts and desire for your company. Also, detach emotionally so that the few times you two are together, there is less of you engaged. Remember, you have class, and you will not resort to ignoring her or provoking arguments. These are the traits of men beneath your station. This step is about pulling away from her, not putting her down. We have two more tips on how to end a relationship next...

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» What Went Wrong?

What Went Wrong? When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please e-mail me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.How many times have you gone out on a first date? You like the woman. Everything's going great, and all of a sudden, the energy changes. It feels like she's been deflated. She tells you she's tired, and the next thing you know, you're driving her home in silence. And you wonder what happened.

Why her mood changed

You kept wondering what you did wrong. On the drive home, you actually call a friend up, and you give him a recap of the date. And then you put to him a question that he will never be able to answer. At this point, you’re making your friend become what I call a “dating speculator.” You want your friend to speculate on what happened; you want him to tell you why this woman’s energy changed at that moment. Your friend has no idea. He's never met her, and you've barely known her for two hours -- but you still want your friend to give you the answer on why the date changed.  

End the speculation

We're never satisfied with the answers our friends give either. They just lead to more speculation. You wake up the next morning, and you're still wondering what went wrong. Is she going to call? When should you call her? Will she go out with you again? So you've got more speculation going on in your head.What do you do next? You go to the next friend, the No. 1 of your man-coaches. And you ask him what he thinks. And you add a few dimensions to the story when you get his opinion. Another day passes. She didn't call you. Meanwhile, you didn't call her because you were too busy speculating. You should have just gotten on the phone that night and said, “I had a great time. Let's get together again.” You should have ended the questioning, but no, you wanted to go back into “speculator zone.”  

Get out of the zone

So the story keeps growing, and another friend gets called in, and the speculation becomes even crazier. You're even more in your head than you were before. You know what this is? This is what I call “speculation madness.” You're never going to find the answer through guesswork with your friends about what went wrong on a date, why her mood changed, if she's going to call, or if she likes you.The only way you're going to figure that out is by getting on the phone, calling her and asking her out again. If she declines or does not call you back, it's over and done with, and you move on to the next woman. The less you speculate in life, the more pleasant you are. The more pleasant you are, the more you're actually going to enjoy life. If you're stuck in the speculation zone, I suggest you get out. And I suggest you stop driving your friends crazy. Form a pact with all your friends stipulating that none of you will speculate again. When any of you go into the speculation zone, immediately say, “Hang up with me, call this woman, ask her out again, and get this over with.” You'll be driven crazy for your entire life unless you take this advice.

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» Weekly Pickup Line

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» Threesomes: Make Them Happen

Threesomes: Make Them HappenSure, sex with your partner is smokin’, but how much hotter would it be to add a third person to the mix? At Good In Bed, we know that a threesome, or menage a trois, has crossed the minds of most couples at some point or another, whether as a fantasy or the real thing. And while not everyone is comfortable even suggesting one, a little honesty can go a long way to help you make the fantasy a reality or even just incorporate the fantasy into your own sex life. Here’s how to make threesomes happen.

Keep an open mind

When one partner suggests a threesome, it’s easy for the other to feel worried about the state of the relationship. Really, a threesome sex fantasy is a compliment. Any time I’ve had a partner approach me with the idea, I’ve felt flattered and viewed it as a positive sign of their comfort level with me, regardless of whether I actually chose to participate.

Make it a fantasy first

Your ability to talk about a threesome is a good indicator of the strength of your relationship (and communication is key when it comes to making threesomes happen). In the Good In Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex, the authors discuss how to get the most juice out of this fantasy, as well as other sexy scenarios. Can you two discuss other sexual topics openly and without embarrassment? If so, this chat is probably going to go a lot more smoothly. Start off by enjoying the concept of a threesome as a sexy secret fantasy between the two of you. Pretend you’re going to have one and choose celebrities or random people from a crowd that appeal to you both. Now gauge your partner’s reaction. Does she show a spark of interest in the real thing? If not, keep it as a fantasy and use sex toys, porn or role-playing to incorporate it into your sex life. If she is interested, move on to the next step. Our discussion on how to make threesomes happen continues...

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» Why You Shouldn't Hit On Your Neighbor

You are new to the neighborhood. Friendly new faces have stopped by to say hello or have thrown a nod and wave in your direction. You feel right at home in your new digs. No one has made you feel more welcome than the attractive and single woman next door. She appears to have everything you are looking for in a mate. Want to score your neighbor? Asking her out couldn’t possibly be a bad idea… could it? Be warned. Even though she is cute, available and in close proximity, it doesn’t mean you should be stopping by to ask her for a cup of her sugar. Just like you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink, hitting on a neighbor could prove to be a worse idea than deciding to paint the whole house with just a brush and a kitchen chair. Things can -- and probably will -- go wrong, and you could end up with more drama on your hands than you’d planned. Even though it’s been a sexual fantasy since the 7th grade, here are some reasons why you shouldn’t hit on your neighbor.

if she rejects you...

Every encounter thereafter will be awkward

Suppose you are reading her signals wrong -- maybe she’s just being nice because you share the same sidewalks and she feels safe knowing a guy-friend is around in case of an emergency. You ask her out, she says no and now you have to deal with the uncomfortable exchanges every time you run into each other at the mailboxes or bump into each other at the corner coffee shop. Rejection will have you running from the car to the front door every day to avoid the unpleasant exchanges. Unless you reside in a war zone, this isn’t the best way to live your life, and this is precisely why you shouldn’t hit on your neighbor.

It will jeopardize your chances with other women in the neighborhood

Men make this common mistake in college, at work and in a ton of other situations -- they take hunt, aim and fire at the first animal they see when they should wait back in the woods for bigger game. Have you met all your other neighbors? Did you take some time to learn who is who, or better yet, who is doing who? Suppose the object of your attention is the neighbor-hoe who has already schtupped half the block? Do some homework. Find a chatty Cathy who keeps up with every Jones in the neighborhood and is willing to dish the dirt without asking you to divulge too much personal information about your own situation.

You will have made a bad first impression

Whether you want the attention or not, the ladies of the Mahjong club and the guys who do nothing but brag about their tools (the ones in the garage) will make your innocent courting of the cute, single neighbor the hot neighborhood gossip. It’s not because they care about your personal life, but because they really have nothing better to talk about when they take the kids to the bus stop. Do you really want to paint yourself as the neighborhood gigolo after only a few weeks? Of course, that could be the reason you had to move in the first place. All this unnecessary attention isn’t the best way to woo new friends. Fly below the radar at least for the first few months. Still want to know why you shouldn't hit on your neighbor? Keep reading...

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» Fly With Kids

Fly With KidsThere are few things that unnerve parents more than having to fly with kids. Fortunately, the experience doesn’t have to be a total nightmare -- if you’re properly prepared. That’s why we’ve created a handy guide with tips on trip planning, in-flight entertainment and appropriate food and medication options. Return your tray table and chair to an upright position as we teach you how to survive a long-haul flight with a toddler.

Trip planning

Travel by nightIt’s the dream of every parent to have their child sleep through their flight, and the surest way of accomplishing that is to travel by night. Try to book your flight to coincide with your child’s regular sleep schedule and, if possible, get a direct flight in order to avoid waking your little one up as you move to a new plane. When it comes to traveling with a toddler, timing is everything.Stick to the routineAnother way of encouraging your child to sleep through the flight is to stick to his regular nighttime routine. Bring along any of the stuffed animals or blankets he usually sleeps with, and be prepared to read stories and sing quietly until he drifts off. Those familiar tunes will help to transform a truly foreign environment into a cozy home away from home.  Reserve the bulkheadWhether they’re three months old or three years old, most young children love to stretch their legs, and there’s no better place to enjoy some extra space than in the plane’s bulkhead. Located in the row immediately after the first class section, this spacious area contains an additional two feet of legroom, making it an ideal location to set up an impromptu playpen for your child. Just be forewarned that the bulkhead has fixed armrests and doesn’t have storage space beneath the seats, so you’ll need to store all of your extra items in the overhead bins. That can be a bit of a nuisance when you have to fetch a new toy every three minutes.

In-flight entertainment

Something old, something newIf you have to fly with kids, and your child stays awake for the duration of the flight, you’ll need a) plenty of valium and b) a wide selection of toys to keep him entertained. We recommend bringing a bagful of toys, along with one or two brand new ones he’s never seen before. You may even want to wrap each plaything to add to the novelty and excitement. Bring toys out one by one to get the most out of each knickknack, and then return them to the bag once your child tires of them. With any luck this should keep him happily distracted while you discreetly drink twice your weight in tiny little bottles of vodka.Get creativeSadly, children eventually tire of their toys, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel. Make like MacGyver and turn an air sickness bag into a puppet, stack and un-stack the cups from your meal or make a flipbook from the pages of the in-flight magazine. You’ll be amazed at how your inner Mr. Rogers will emerge after your child throws his first five-alarm fit. Keep ‘em glued to the tubeAnother valid option when flying with kids is to abandon your policy on limiting screen time and allow your little one to soak up as much in-flight entertainment as he likes. Most airlines now have dedicated movie and game channels that are designed to keep little viewers happy. If your child has a favorite movie or show, you may also want to consider bringing along a portable DVD player with a full selection of his most beloved flicks. You’re bound to gain a whole new appreciation for Barney once he gets your toddler to stop squirming for more than five minutes.Make some friendsChances are your toddler won’t be the only child on the flight. Let someone else entertain your little one for a short spell by searching out other kiddies on the plane (Helpful hint: Follow the screams). Children always delight at the sight of one of their peers and will gladly play games of peek-a-boo or patty cake for several minutes. If you’re in luck, you may even find a few compassionate grandparents who will want to hold your tyke while you stretch your legs. Most passengers are happy to do whatever they can to keep a child from crying throughout an entire flight.We have more suggestions on how to successfully fly with kids next...

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» How To Get Back In The Game

How To Get Back In The Game

When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please e-mail me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.

You haven't had a date with a woman in six months, and you feel that your cold streak is interminable. Frankly, your slump is so bad that you are starting to really worry about how to get back in the game. Your attempts to chat up women keep resulting in the cold shoulder. You can’t seem to get conversations going. The witty banter necessary to keep a woman’s interest eludes you. You’ve become all too familiar with that “don’t even bother asking for my number” look. You've even reached out to all your friends and your social networks. You are starting to feel like a complete and utter social miscast.  You wonder: What can I do to get back into the dating game?

What you’re doing wrong

Most men try the old-school method of drinking themselves into oblivion, which results in a false bravado. Then they locate a drunken woman, get her number and hope that she’s half as hot as his drunk self thought. Will she be? No. Will it restore your confidence? No.  If you are reading this, I’m guessing that this is not your first “cold streak.” You’ve probably had these before and haven’t taken the necessary corrective action. And you desperately want me to give you a magic pill -- a quick, easy jolt of “coolness” so that you become your most attractive you. The bad news is that there is no magic pill. The good news is that I can help you end your cold streak. I can teach you to hit home runs if you are willing to do some work. What do you think David Wright did about his hitting slump? Whine about it? Complain? Show up to games and hope and pray that he’d hit a home run? No! He hit the batting cage and practiced, practiced, practiced -- and that’s how he got back in the game  You are going to do the same.

practice makes perfect

Here’s your assignment: You must go out into the world and meet women every single day. If you follow the four pieces of advice below, you will absolutely build up your confidence to get those numbers and those dates.

Become a positive social force

You must practice meeting women every day. You must become a social person again. Social people are attractive; they have a positive aura. People notice them. When you walk through life happy, smiling and talking to people, what happens? You create intrigue, attraction and chemistry. You will get noticed.  If, alternatively, you walk through life thinking to yourself, “Man, I just can't seem to meet a woman,” you're not going to meet anybody. Your body language will be a natural repellent. You will come off as rejected, dejected, desperate, needy, and nervous. What woman wants that guy? Practice with women you're not attracted to -- smile at them, talk to them. Try flirting with them. Learn how to be comfortable talking to strangers so that you can get back in the game. Become more comfortable flirting. Soon you will be able to approach women you are dying to meet. We have three more tips on how to get back in the dating game next...

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» Male G-Spot: Ask Dr. Chaves

Male G-Spot: Ask Dr. Chaves

the male g-spot

Hi Dr. Chaves,I was given a gift card to get a sensual massage for my birthday by a bunch of my guy friends. I thought it was kind of a strange gift to give, but their reactions told me that it was going to be a massage with a little more at the end, if you know what I mean. I went for it and everything was cool in the beginning. Once she started working her way to my private area, I completely lost my erection. I was nervous. I know I was. Eventually, I got it back but couldn’t come. She started to touch my ass and asked if that was cool. It felt weird as hell, but she was so hot that I let her. Here’s the kicker: She then stuck her finger inside me. It freaked me out, no joke. I froze, but after a little while, it felt really good. She made me come really quick from that, and it’s freaking me out that I liked it. I don’t get why it felt good. Is this the male G-spot?   Thanks,DustinDid she ask you beforehand if she could shock you? Wow, pretty open-minded experience and question. What most likely happened was that she massaged your prostate gland. We often associate the prostate with cancer or male baby batter, as prostate fluid is one of the main ingredients in ejaculate. What is often left unsaid is that the prostate is very sensitive and that it can feel pleasurable when stimulated. Prostate play has been associated with helping men achieve/maintain erections as well as helping to reach orgasm. It’s been called the male G-spot, also referred to as the Hero or H-spot. The problem for most guys is figuring out where the prostate is. It would’ve been nice had the prostate been somewhere else, like in our scrotum, but instead, it’s about an inch or so inside the rectum. That freaks most guys out because they associated anus and rectum play with being gay or unclean. Newsflash: Gay guys and straight guys all have a prostate, and it’s up to each individual if they want to try out a unique form of sexual pleasure. But don’t hate on the prostate. Without it, we would have about 30% less ejaculate and likely lose the ability to have an erection. For those reasons, I’m forever grateful to my prostate.

prostate myths

Dear Dr. Chaves,I have heard two things that contradict each other: I’ve also heard that ejaculating is very good for the prostate. I’ve also heard that too much ejaculation can be bad. What is the real deal with this?Thank you for your time,RogerMust be national prostate week or something, since so many readers are worried about their butts. As noted above, our prostates are important and taking care of that little guy is the smart thing to do. For years, the scientific community has gone back and forth with conflicting research. The pro-prostate gang finds evidence that ejaculation is prostate-healthy and the anti-prostate folk find evidence otherwise. I find the arguments for regular ejaculations for improved prostate health more convincing. One theory is ejaculation may expel cancer-causing chemicals from the prostate. In a study of almost 30,000 men by Harvard and the National Cancer Institute, the results were quite interesting. Overall, this study didn’t find a link between prostate cancer risk and ejaculation frequency. That’s a bummer. All those ejaculations for nothing. Well, almost nothing. But the study did find that men who ejaculated more often (21 times per month or more) were 33% less likely to develop prostate cancer than guys who ejaculated four to seven times per month. If you put together all the research, most will support ejaculation for improved prostate health. So feel free to ejaculate often and frequently and in any way you choose, whether solo, with a partner or with a group! Dr. Chaves answers more of your sex-related questions next...

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» How To Find The G-Spot And More

Ask Dr. Chaves: How To Find The G-Spot And More

turned on by average-looking women

Hey,

For as long as I can remember, I seem to be more turned on by average-looking women than beautiful women. I'm not saying that I get turned on by women that are not the least bit attractive. For lack of a better way of expressing it, if a woman that is a "10" and another that is a "six" walk into the room together and both are willing to have sex with me, I would pick the six. I've never understood this about myself. I am completely aware that the women I choose to sleep with are usually fives or sixes even if there is a 10 standing next to them that is equally willing. What could possibly be the reason for this?

 

Thanks,Eric from Boston, MA

 

Here’s the plan: You take the average five, and I’ll take the perfect 10. Everybody wins, right? In reality, numbers are better suited for math classes and accountants than for women. There is an infinite number of possibilities that may have contributed to your attraction to certain types of females. It’s not much different than men who describe being attracted to women who are taller, shorter, heavier, thinner, or who have other specific characteristics that arouse the male senses.Our attraction is complex, and there are numerous factors that influence what catches our eye. Maybe it was the crush on the average-looking babysitter or the perfect 10 girlfriend who broke your heart that helped shape your attraction. Could it be a defense mechanism against rejection or a way to cope with fears or insecurity? It would take a lot of time and exploration, and even then we may not find the answers you’re looking for. Maybe asking “why” is less important than asking “how” you feel about it.If you have no anxiety or ambivalent feelings, then go with it. Embrace who you are and make the most of the opportunities that present themselves. Love and happiness are blind to things like numbers.

 

find her g-spot

 

Hi Doc,

 

I've only had sexual experience with one girl, and she has only had me. While clitoral orgasms have never been a problem, I have had a question about the G-spot. Penile penetration does not provide the desired response. I have not been able to find her G-spot, and she has failed to locate it unilaterally. Now, I have digitally penetrated her a couple of times, and both times, after awhile, she has made me stop so she can go pee. Allegedly, urination did take place. Is that all it was, or should I next time encourage a release? Is it just urinary, or orgasmic in nature?

Thanks for your help, Doc.

 

AJ from NY

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» First Date Body-Language Mistakes

First Date Body-Language MistakesFirst dates are all about seeing whether or not you and the woman you’ve asked out are in sync. You might pay special attention to what you say (which is a good thing), to how you clean yourself up (big bonus) and to any sparks that fly over the dinner table. But don’t fall into the trap of letting your body language mess things up for you. Here are 10 first date body-language mistakes to keep out of her sight.

Pointing your feet away from her

When we like something, our bodies instinctively want to move closer to it. It happens subconsciously a lot of the time, but be aware of your feet. Are they pointing in her direction or at a hot girl at the bar? Be sure that they’re facing the woman you’re on a date with, as this is positive body language that shows her you’re interested.

Patting her during a hug

A hug at the end of the date is a great way to show her you want to touch her (and women want to be touched), but don’t pat her on the back. Although this could happen when you feel a bit nervous or you don’t want her to think you’re jumping her, the back pat gives her the idea that you are uncomfortable getting closer to her or that you just don’t want to make contact. Yes, it’s that bad. Always lean toward her when you reach in, and if you don’t want to come on too strong, make it a short hug.

Moving too quickly

You might not realize that your body often mirrors your internal emotional world. If you’re feeling a bit nervous about the first date, it could be reflected in your body language, such as make fast movements while talking or eating. This first date body-language mistake tells her you’re nervous and maybe even insecure. The impression you want to make is that you’re calm, collected and confident. So become more aware of your body and try to slow down your movements.

Nodding too much

If you nod a lot while your date is speaking, she’s going to think you’re not really listening or you just want her to wrap up what she’s rambling on about so that you can take the stage again. Basically, it tells her you’re not interested in what she has to say. Of course, nodding a little bit can be good because it shows that you agree with certain things she says, but keep it to a minimum.

Speaking out of sync

Mirroring each other on a first date creates the impression of being on the same wavelength. Pay attention not only to what your bodies are doing but also to how your speech patterns match. If she speaks really fast and you’re more mellow, for example, it throws you out of sync. Try to match her, as this will make your conversation flow. Although you can’t fake a connection with someone, you can definitely enhance it by trying to get on their wavelength. We have five more first date body-language mistakes next...

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» Be A Gentleman

Be A GentlemanThis Player once partied while drinking coconut rum and watching the sunset over El Yunque. The Latin beauty sharing spirits with me looked at me and, with wanting eyes, said I was a gentleman. The others in our small soiree chuckled. They found the term “gentleman” to be an insult. As I woke up the next morning with my bonita Boricua, I found the fact both sad and telling that we, as a group, find the word “gentleman” to be offensive. Have we lost our concept of class and style? Have we spent too much time watching arrogant celebrities and mindless reality shows that our idea of a Player is only misogyny and stupidity? Take notes, Players in training, because a real master of this game know how to be a gentleman (and gentleman always get the ladies).

Above all else, the Player adores women

Is a Player out to degrade, rack up and bed women as if they were wildlife to be mounted on a wall? No. To a Player, women are not things for pleasure. Now, make no mistake, a Player can appreciate the wonders that come with female intimacy. But a Player truly adores women. He does not fall down and lick boots. He does value and respect women (yes, you can be a nice guy and finish first). There is no lying. There is no leading on. A true Player may pursue multiple women at one time but he does so without breaking hearts and shattering egos.More on how to be a gentleman next...

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» Signs You Should Call Off the Wedding

Signs to call off the wedding The royal family never thought Prince William and his soon-to-be wife Kate Middleton would make it down the aisle. But at some point in our lives, we all want to quit "the game" and settle down with that one special lady. Marriage is a word that we all dread until suddenly, one day, it all makes sense and you pop the big question. The big day -- your wedding -- is probably one of the most stressful events you will have to go through. And quite understandably, there may be a voice in the back of your mind asking, ”What the hell am I doing?” Approximately half of all marriages end in divorce, so it's sensible to double-check that your very last pickup is the perfect woman for you. Your buddies may tell you to look at your potential mother-in-law to see what your future wife will become -- a classic warning sign. But if that's not enough, here are a few more signs that you should consider calling off the wedding.

She has pre-wedding stress

Granted, the wedding is a very stressful affair -- we’ll give her that much. But as you wave goodbye to all the joys and memories of single life, this is the day that she has dreamed about since she figured out boys could do more than just pull her pigtails. Your bride-to-be has probably thought about it, planned it and talked about it for hour upon hour since she made that wedding scrapbook when she was 9 years old. How she deals with seeing this dream come to life is crucial. Of course, she's going to reach stress levels you just won't understand, and for the most part it's best to nod as often as possible and ride out the storm. But there are limits. Stressful times can bring out the worst in people. Any veins of selfishness, vanity and shallowness -- the flaws you feared most -- will come bubbling to the surface. If the wedding turns your girl into some kind of horrific Bridezilla, alarm bells should ring. This is the person you are hoping to spend the rest of your life with and if one day causes her personality to morph so completely you may want to ask yourself if she's really The One.

She's against the bachelor party

Flowers? Seating arrangements? Color schemes? These “vital elements” of the wedding probably aren't the things you're looking forward to the most. The bachelor party? Now we're talking... The stag night is every man’s right. This last hoorah is your farewell to the single life in the company of your finest friends. It doesn't matter if it's a relaxing camping trip or a weekend of debauchery in Amsterdam, the bachelor party marks your passage into the married world. So an attempt by your fiancée to veto this is very worrying. “If you love me, you won't want to spend a night in a strip club” or “I don't trust what your friends will do to you” may sound sensible, but should be resisted. She has spent years dreaming about the wedding and you have spent years dreaming about your bachelor party. This may be a glimpse into your future; you won’t be going on that bar crawl for Johnny's birthday, there will be no Saturday night poker or football game, and Frank's bachelor party? Forget it. No bachelor party means no marriage. If she's already picking out your outfits and your kid's names, it's time to get out...

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» Is She The One?

Is She The One?When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please e-mail me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.A part of you hopes and prays your next first date will be your last, that she’ll turn out to be “the one.” You hope the relationship will magically (and effortlessly) progress and that you will fall madly in love. But is she "the one"?    Let’s face it: Everyone is addicted to falling in love (and with good reason). It feels amazing, and the high we get when falling in love is unparalleled.    

Addicted to love   

Like all drugs, however, that love high can make us do crazy things. You all have a friend who impulsively flew off to Vegas to marry a woman he barely knew because he was under the influence of love. When we are in lust, or in the process of falling in love, we tend to overlook so many negative things about that person because so much feels right. We actively throw away any bad data that could ruin our high. We ignore what’s right in front of us. If you’ve made poor choices because you’ve let a love high influence you, you're not alone. You already know that relationships entered into hastily, based upon the love high, never last. They can’t. Once you come down from that high, you’ll have to scale the Mt. Everest of data that you threw out. And trust me, it’s steep.Whether you're in love right now or you're out there looking to answer the age-old question “is she the one?” the most important thing you need to know is yourself. The best way to figure out if someone is "the one" is to sort through the women who are clearly not right for you.

Is she the one?   

In order to get a sense of what your needs are, ask yourself these three critical questions:  1. What are the five qualities or attributes in a woman that are really necessary? Be honest with yourself. What are your needs? Do you need to be around somebody who is affectionate? Smart? How much sex is important to you? Everybody's list is going to be different.  2. What are your long-term goals for the relationship?Do you want a sexual partner only? Are you looking for a wife? Do you even want to get married? Do you want children?  3. What are your deal breakers?What are the qualities in a woman that are nonnegotiable? Your past relationships are a fantastic blueprint and can give you great information about what did not work. Did you guys disagree over religion? Disagree about the desire for children?   

Know what you want   

Once you make your three lists, you will have a much better sense of what you need in a relationship, and whether that love high you're feeling is real or based primarily on lust. We men often make mistakes entering into relationships because we are not aware of our needs. We tend to get caught up in the moment and to overlook the things that are most important to us.

check your list

So the next time you are with somebody and you start to wonder if she is the one, check your list! Make sure that the person possesses the qualities you're seeking in a partner. If you're missing a core ingredient, the relationship will never work out. If you consult your list, you won't find yourself in a relationship with a person who is like a best friend but with whom the sex is so bad you can’t take it anymore, and you won't be in a relationship where the sex is fantastic, but the woman isn’t emotionally stable and doesn’t make you feel comfortable. Make your lists. Do some soul searching to know exactly what you need. If you're in a relationship, see if the woman you're seeing fulfills your criteria. You can only get what you desire if you're able to identify it.

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» Weekly Pickup Line

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» Her Sexual Self-Esteem

Her Sexual Self-EsteemOne thing that is consistently surprising (and wonderfully so) about men is that you guys never fail to think that we look hot when we feel least sexy. We can spend loads of time getting ready to go out, and yet it’s the morning after, when our hair is invariably a mess, our mascara has migrated under our eyes and we feel like hell, that you look at us and proclaim, “You’re so sexy.” Nonetheless, when you remind us that we’re beautiful even when we may not feel like we are, it gives us a little ego boost, and that’s never a bad thing. In fact, it’s what builds our sexual self-esteem. At Good in Bed, we refer to the fine art of worrying about sex while we’re having it as “spectatoring.” It happens just like being a spectator in a game, except we’re doing the heckling and feeling like a lousy ump. We’re criticizing every play, wondering why we aren’t on our A-game and can end up wanting to just throw the game. It can feel like we forget ourselves -- and our ecstasy -- in the process of getting to know a new lover. And it’s a lose-lose situation. We get caught up in our heads and don’t feel pleasure, and you are denied seeing us have fun (which we know you love). And guys, it ain’t your fault -- but there are things you can do to help undo the damage.So how does a skilled lover get his gal to take herself off the bench, get back in the game and boost her sexual self-esteem?

make it happen

Step 1: Take it from sex therapist Ian Kerner, and get cliterate. Learn about our bodies. When you know your way around our playing field, we know that you’re invested in our pleasure. Step 2: Know what you’re dealing with. The fact is, women reach their sexual peak later in life than men. This has little to do with biology and a lot to do with psychology. For many women, it can take years to figure out not only what feels good, but also to build up the confidence to communicate our desires to our partners. Step 3: Help us get comfortable. Women are less likely to have orgasms early in relationships, and this is because we get nervous about our bodies, we’re learning to trust you, and we just need time to adapt to a new partner. Kerner, who wrote She Comes First and edited the Good in Bed guide to Orally Pleasuring A Woman, says:"The vast majority of men that I’ve spoken with (and I’ve had the chance to speak to thousands of ’em) have a gung ho 'viva la vulva' attitude when it comes to pleasuring their partners. Guys love to see their partners get turned on -- and to know that they’re the source of the pleasure. As it turns out, many women worry that guys don’t really enjoy oral pleasuring, or women worry that they’re taking too long, or that their scent might be unappealing. Many women also have a low sense of genital self-esteem and feel like their vulvas are not necessarily their most attractive feature."So don’t hesitate to let us know how much you totally worship our bodies, down to the way we taste, smell and move, and chances are that we’ll start to loosen up and get out of our heads and back into our bodies (and our sexual self-esteem will rise, too).Step 4: Be patient. There’s nothing worse than a partner who bemoans our lack of orgasm every time we have sex. First, remember that just because we’re not coming doesn’t mean we’re not in the game. Nothing is more of a buzz kill than feeling pressure to have an orgasm. And if we are going to have an orgasm, keep in mind that it takes the average man around three minutes to have an orgasm, while women take around 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to do so. Of course, at the end of the day, it’s up to us to get our own sexual self-esteem at its highest, but with a little help from our friends (that’s you, gentlemen), we can all relax and enjoy ourselves a little bit more.

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» 11 Tips For Getting Over Your Ex

11 Tips For Getting Over Your ExGetting over your ex is one of the great dilemmas of manhood. It’s rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts and even living quarters. Maybe the most frustrating thing about the whole process is that even if ending the relationship was the right thing to do -- even if she cheated on you -- it can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life.  Here at AskMen, we’re in the business of getting you back in the game, so we’ve put together a list of the 11 tips for getting over your ex. Follow this program from start to finish, and you’ll be back to your old self in no time.

1- Take her off that pedestal

First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men. She wasn’t perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn’t even close. Make a list of her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her. Do whatever you have to do -- just take her off that pedestal.

2- Get closure

Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you’re going to end this thing, end it. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.

3- Don't contact her

This may be the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames, you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange dude in her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential.

4- Work out

Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to meet women (plenty of reasons why working out makes our list of 11 tips for getting over your ex).

5- Avoid her friends and the places she hangs

If you want to avoid the temptations that come with bumping into an ex, you might have to make some sacrifices. You might have to cut ties with some of your mutual friends. You might have to avoid some of your favorite haunts (because they’re her favorite haunts, too). Trust us, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.We have 6 more tips on how to get over an ex next...

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» Why Won't She Call Back?

Why Won't She Call Back?When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please email me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.You went out the other night with this amazing woman. You thought that it was the most perfect first date. You thought she was into you. You left her a message the following day telling her that you had a great time and hoped to take her out again soon. It’s been three days since the terrific date, and she has not called you back. Why won't she call back? You're confused. You have replayed the date over and over with all your friends. You've asked for their opinion about why things are unfolding the way they are. Is she busy? Away? Involved? You've over-analyzed it to death and can’t stop checking your phone. You even start thinking that maybe it was the message you left. Why did you say that you had a good time? Was that a turn off?

You didn't connect

Well, it’s actually none of those things. The reason she has not called back is that she simply does not feel the same way that you do about the date -- or about you. The explanation? You probably failed to emotionally connect with her.     Let me explain it this way: How many of you have gone out, met a woman, scored her home number, and then said to yourself, "Why won't she call back?" Probably a lot. That happens when you have failed to connect with a woman and distinguish yourself from the other guys who are also hitting on her. The next day, she probably has no idea who you are.    It’s the same idea on a date. When she leaves that date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. That you shared something with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience. 

What you need to do

If you want women to call you back, you need to focus on making an emotional connection with them. Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.      When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" The answers to those questions are what build a relationship.     If you want to get better at this and advance to date No. 2, you have to work at it. You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. One way is to start talking to women as you would speak to any friend. Pay attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the names of her friends, where she went to school, where she grew up. Remember the conversations. Personalize your message by saying something like, “I had a great time with you last night. I especially enjoyed our conversation about your travels in Italy. How about I take you to that little sushi restaurant you mentioned next Thursday.” This is how you can let the her know that you are not one of the regular men that she has met -- that you are connected to her.Little shifts in how you connect with women will ensure a returned call. I promise.Want to learn more about this? Look out for Rachel Khona’s upcoming article, Why She Didn’t Call You Back, which will run on April 12th.

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» Male Virginity

Male Virginity

male virginity

Hi Doctor,I'm 19, and, like any sane male my age, I have a libido that can be far too much for me to handle at times. But I'm also very old-school. I want to find someone that I love and am willing to hold onto my virginity until we're married. So that leaves me with this problem: I'm more than likely going to be a virgin for a while. I'm worried that I will have no sexual stamina when the time comes and that my partner will look down on me. Or that I'd be unable to please her since I won't last long. I'm about six and a half inches, which isn't much to speak of, but size doesn't matter much when I just can't last. Is there any advice you can give me about this?Thanks,AlexI love virgins who are thirsting for knowledge. It’s OK that you are concerned. Most of us experience the same worry at one time or another with sex and relationships. The first thing you need to do is relax, take it easy, and not to put so much pressure on yourself. If a person dates and falls in love with you, they’re going to respect you and be patient with your sexual choices, including male virginity. Stamina, in part, is a cardiovascular issue, so hit the gym, the weight room, and get that heart pumping with cardio workouts to achieve better sexual health.Rapid ejaculation can be worked on even as a virgin. Try reading our Premature Ejaculation article for starters and follow up with more detailed self-help books on the subject. Let's be honest here: Once you penetrate the world of vaginas and sex, you’ll find it’s different than solo sex. It feels pretty damn good and different from your trusty hand. So read up, get sexually intelligent about losing your male virginity, do your practice/prep work as described in the books and articles, and set the stage for you to be a good lover. It takes time, good communication, confidence, and practice. Casanova wasn’t a sex god in a day and neither will you be. Also, keep in mind that six inches is the average penis size. That means for you, there are six and a half inches to speak of, which is plenty to work with.

normal sexual behavior?

Hello Dr. Chaves,My estranged husband had sexual habits that, in retrospect, seemed odd. For example, during sex, he preferred to withdraw and reach orgasm with his hand rather than inside of me. He did the same thing when I gave him oral sex (and not for my sake -- I made it clear that I thought swallowing was intimate and erotic). He also seemed to prefer sex when I was fast asleep, like at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. He did not like to perform oral sex. I kind of got used to these things -- every one is different, right? But I was definitely sexually frustrated, and now I wonder if our sex life really was unusual. Your perspective? Thank you,SamanthaThere are a few words I wish we could rid from our sexual vocabularies: odd, weird, strange, gross, and so on. Wouldn’t the world and our judgments be a better place if we used  words like “unique” or “different” to describe sexual behaviors and actually believed in those words? Your husband is particular about his sexual interests, and I would guess that you are, too. There’s nothing unusual about his sexual expression; it’s just particular. But there is some definite disconnect. It seems like you could use a little TLC with your sexual communication together. You should know why he likes to pull out and ejaculate with his hand for oral and intercourse. Could it be that he enjoys seeing himself shoot, is it a fear of pregnancy, does he like covering you up in his come, is it psychologically enticing, etc.? Why not ask and get to the bottom of why he prefers these behaviors and finally get a clear picture of his sexual interests.The same goes for the late-night sexcapades, his lack of interest in performing oral, and so on. While you’re at it, tell him about your sexual interests. Communication goes a long way, and you’d be surprised how often we think we’ve communicated a message and how often it gets lost in translation. I understand your frustration and hope that by understanding each other sexually, it leads to better, more direct communication about reciprocating pleasure and fulfilling you sexual desires. It doesn’t mean things will change, but at least you can answer some of the "whys."  Read on as Dr. Chaves answers more of your sex questions...

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» Your Epic Bachelor Party

Your Epic Bachelor PartySo you've been sworn to secrecy by the groom, but you're dying to spill the beans about that epic bachelor party.Like any male rite of passage -- your first shave, losing your virginity, buying your first car -- the best bachelor parties are embedded in your memory. But unlike other milestones, you've only whispered about it within your closest circle of friends... until now.Here's your chance to brag, commiserate and celebrate your buddy's (or your) last night of freedom. We want to hear your wildest, craziest stories. Post them in the comments section below. We'll be featuring our favorites in the days to come.- AskMen Editors

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» The Argument For Separate Beds

People are picky about a lot of things: The way they take their coffee. The cut and fit of their clothing. The proper placement of things on their desk. Everything has a certain specification. Part of this is because people are creatures of habit, but it’s mostly because people just like stuff to be the way they like it, no matter how uncomfortable it makes anyone else. The bedroom is the place where people meet the most resistance to getting things exactly the way they like it. No, not sex. We're talking about sleep. Add to the mix partners who are particular about the thickness of comforters or the lumpiness of the mattress, and you'll have issues. And, really, sleep is almost as important as breathing or eating, so why should a person’s rest be impeded by another person’s own quirks and habits? Many are under the impression that when a married couple decides to sleep in separate beds, the marriage is one terrible stir-fry dinner away from a massive meltdown. But that’s not always the case. Every couple, married or just shacking up, is better off sleeping in separate beds. Take it back to the days of Lucy and Ricky with his-and-her pillows, mattresses and comforters.  Here are four reasons you and your partner should be sleeping in different beds.

You will sleep more comfortably

Think of all the little nuisances that wake you up in the night. The cars outside, loud neighbors, even the ticking of the bedroom clock. Most are out of your control. Now think of the things your partner does to keep you awake at night. Two people rolling around under the sheets in search of comfort are going to cause some bumping and bruising and possibly some accidental kicks to the shin. Let’s not ignore all of the noises. Even though she denies it, the little lady cuts wood more than a beaver and also lets out little toots in the quiet of the night. Snoring, farting and moaning all keep a guy up at night. Sure, you do it, too, but it doesn’t bother you because you’re asleep.     The other war waged every night, even when you’re asleep, is the constant tugging back and forth of the sheets. These nightly cover wars are due to the fact that few couples like to sleep at exactly the same temperature. Each person has their own perfect degree of not-too-hot or not-too-cold. Hence the arguments over blanket size and distribution, household temperature settings and the size of the flames under the bed needed to keep her as warm as possible in the winter. If you had your own bed, you could have as few or as many covers as you find comfortable.

You are on different sleep schedules

People love to talk about compatibility in a relationship. How a man and woman complete each other. There is no more important place to be compatible than in the bedroom. She is an early riser; you sleep late. She is in bed by 10 a.m.; you're up all night playing video games and updating your Twitter account to tell people you’re up playing video games. You are barely in bed together, but when you are, you’re disrupting each other's sleep patterns. Being in different beds means never having to wake the other person up at the end of a late night -- and she won't bother you when she gets up for early morning yoga. Read on to find out why sex is better when you're in separate beds...

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» Why She Didn't Call You Back

Why She Didn't Call You BackLast week, David Wygant’s Why Won’t She Call Back? provided a guy's answer to that eternal question. Now Rachel Khona shares the female side of the story.You know how it goes: You met a smoking hot girl you really like. The chemistry was off the charts (well, according to you), she seemed totally into you too when she gave you her digits, you called her to go out sometime, and then she never returned your call. Was it the broccoli in your teeth? Did you have stinky pits? It could be one of those reasons, but chances are it’s something a little less forgiving. So why didn’t she call you back?

She was using you for a drink

Women use men all the time to score a free drink, which is why you have to be careful when you’re buying them. The party girl who’s out with her friends is likely to be using you. Alternatively, the calm, centered woman who’s having a real conversation with you is less likely to want to use you. So don’t go buying drinks for every hot girl you see. Wait to see if she’s actually interested, touching your arm, listening to what you’re saying, and mirroring your body language before you pony up. You’ll avoid feeling like a chump later, and you won't  be questioning why she didn’t call you back.

You called her by the wrong name

Yes, that hot blond you met waiting at the doctor’s office and that cute girl at work might be on your mind, but keep it to yourself. Right now, you’re with her. So when she introduces herself, pay attention. Just like you don’t want to hear about the guy she banged last night, she doesn’t want to be mistaken for someone else you’re fantasizing about. You want to seem like you’re into her -- and not anyone else. Even if you’re not actually thinking of another woman, you want to make it clear that you are listening to her. If you forget her name, chances are you will not be able to backtrack out of that flub.

She met someone else

It sucks, but there isn’t much you can do about this one. It might be only two days later, but a lot can happen in a short time span. As amazing as the chemistry might have been, she could have met someone else with whom the chemistry is even more intense (which is why she didn't call you back). Just because you think she’s hotter than Kim Kardashian doesn’t mean that she thinks you’re all that. Think of it as the difference between a burger and a filet mignon: The best thing you can do is move on and realize she clearly wasn’t the right one for you.

It took you too long to call

With people practically glued to their phones these days, we all know that everyone -- even your 80-year-old grandmother -- is accessible. It’s not like you have to deal with a landline and an answering machine. Waiting more than three days to ask her out again is just plain suicide. She’ll likely think you’re not interested or you’re playing games, and she’ll be over you like last year’s handbag. You might find a woman who will still respond to your advances, but do you really want to go out with a woman who’s that desperate? A woman who has her act together won’t enjoy being treated like an afterthought. If you really dig her, send her a short text the next day saying you had a great time and would love to see her again. You don’t have to make plans the next day; just let her know you’re thinking about her and will call her later. Read on to discover more reasons why she didn't call you back...

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» Sleeping At Her Place

Sleeping At Her Place This player has spent his share of nights sleeping at her place. With each morning, I have risen and exited with mutual satisfaction, mutual respect and an invitation to return. I've discussed how to pick up and how to conduct one’s self as a Player. Now we talk about one of the most harrowing of situations: sleeping at her place. Many a well-taught and equally well-trained Player has stumbled in this area. Wants and desires can be satisfied in her abode, but Players have a code and have style. Prepare yourself with these rules.

rule no. 1

Don’t send the wrong signals

Players do not break hearts. We do not leave a trail of dashed women behind as we pursue the next lay and layover. While the obvious wrong signal is to say “I love you” when it is not meant, there are others. These mistakes send the message that the sexual experience is more romantic and momentous than simple mutual gratification. This must be understood at the very beginning before a single piece of clothing comes off.  Actions to avoid include an intimate breakfast, spooning in the afterglow and making plans for what to do when you rise from the bed, couch or wherever you two have enjoyed one another. Starry-eyed stares over breakfast, cooking, bringing meals to bed, and cuddling post-coitus are acts that tell her this is more than it really is. If these acts are headed your way, be upfront and complimentary but not rude and insulting. Remember that you are not out to ignore this beautiful lady, as she has just shared something amazing with you. Treating her with silence or indifference not only is beneath a player, but it is insulting. There are compromises and roads in between the wrong signal of over-involvement and the icy tundra of apathy. A quick breakfast before parting is an appropriate exit. A sincere embrace before walking out the door is acceptable.

rule no. 2

Keep it fun

Spending the night does not automatically mean eight intense hours of dramatic sex. First, few will experience eight hours of intense, life-changing lovemaking (remember, you’re Player in training). Feel free to do other entertaining things together. Consider watching a movie (not a chick flick or she may get the wrong signal) or think about talking over drinks while watching the city from her view. Avoid serious conversations that delve into one another's backgrounds or upbringings. Keep the talking light and seasoned with flirtation and the appropriate amount of innuendo. Will keeping it fun lead to sex? More than likely. The more relaxed and at ease a woman is, the more likely her libido will reflect this. Consider the moments after a heated pillow fight or teasing battle with desserts in the kitchen. These can easily translate into sexual activity that you will both enjoy and not confuse with romance.  Be sure to avoid being goofy or silly. Anyone less than a Player would go overboard and treat this eager and sexually charged young lady as if she was a dorm buddy. Having too much fun without aiming toward pleasure and sleeping at her place will ultimately give her one of two wrong ideas: One, she will find your humor and entertainment to be so enjoyable that your sex appeal will diminish rapidly. You will fall from a craved male to a court jester. Secondly, she will take your humor and entertainment to mean that you have no interest in her sexually. Now she will feel rejected and eager to tell her girlfriends about you in less than flattering discussions.The Players rules for sleeping at her place continue...

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» Is She The One?

Is She The One?When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please e-mail me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.A part of you hopes and prays your next first date will be your last, that she’ll turn out to be “the one.” You hope the relationship will magically (and effortlessly) progress and that you will fall madly in love. But is she "the one"?    Let’s face it: Everyone is addicted to falling in love (and with good reason). It feels amazing, and the high we get when falling in love is unparalleled.    

Addicted to love   

Like all drugs, however, that love high can make us do crazy things. You all have a friend who impulsively flew off to Vegas to marry a woman he barely knew because he was under the influence of love. When we are in lust, or in the process of falling in love, we tend to overlook so many negative things about that person because so much feels right. We actively throw away any bad data that could ruin our high. We ignore what’s right in front of us. If you’ve made poor choices because you’ve let a love high influence you, you're not alone. You already know that relationships entered into hastily, based upon the love high, never last. They can’t. Once you come down from that high, you’ll have to scale the Mt. Everest of data that you threw out. And trust me, it’s steep.Whether you're in love right now or you're out there looking to answer the age-old question “is she the one?” the most important thing you need to know is yourself. The best way to figure out if someone is "the one" is to sort through the women who are clearly not right for you.

Is she the one?   

In order to get a sense of what your needs are, ask yourself these three critical questions:  1. What are the five qualities or attributes in a woman that are really necessary? Be honest with yourself. What are your needs? Do you need to be around somebody who is affectionate? Smart? How much sex is important to you? Everybody's list is going to be different.  2. What are your long-term goals for the relationship?Do you want a sexual partner only? Are you looking for a wife? Do you even want to get married? Do you want children?  3. What are your deal breakers?What are the qualities in a woman that are nonnegotiable? Your past relationships are a fantastic blueprint and can give you great information about what did not work. Did you guys disagree over religion? Disagree about the desire for children?   

Know what you want   

Once you make your three lists, you will have a much better sense of what you need in a relationship, and whether that love high you're feeling is real or based primarily on lust. We men often make mistakes entering into relationships because we are not aware of our needs. We tend to get caught up in the moment and to overlook the things that are most important to us.

check your list

So the next time you are with somebody and you start to wonder if she is the one, check your list! Make sure that the person possesses the qualities you're seeking in a partner. If you're missing a core ingredient, the relationship will never work out. If you consult your list, you won't find yourself in a relationship with a person who is like a best friend but with whom the sex is so bad you can’t take it anymore, and you won't be in a relationship where the sex is fantastic, but the woman isn’t emotionally stable and doesn’t make you feel comfortable. Make your lists. Do some soul searching to know exactly what you need. If you're in a relationship, see if the woman you're seeing fulfills your criteria. You can only get what you desire if you're able to identify it.

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» Why She Didn't Call You Back

Why She Didn't Call You BackLast week, David Wygant’s Why Won’t She Call Back? provided a guy's answer to that eternal question. Now Rachel Khona shares the female side of the story.You know how it goes: You met a smoking hot girl you really like. The chemistry was off the charts (well, according to you), she seemed totally into you too when she gave you her digits, you called her to go out sometime, and then she never returned your call. Was it the broccoli in your teeth? Did you have stinky pits? It could be one of those reasons, but chances are it’s something a little less forgiving. So why didn’t she call you back?

She was using you for a drink

Women use men all the time to score a free drink, which is why you have to be careful when you’re buying them. The party girl who’s out with her friends is likely to be using you. Alternatively, the calm, centered woman who’s having a real conversation with you is less likely to want to use you. So don’t go buying drinks for every hot girl you see. Wait to see if she’s actually interested, touching your arm, listening to what you’re saying, and mirroring your body language before you pony up. You’ll avoid feeling like a chump later, and you won't  be questioning why she didn’t call you back.

You called her by the wrong name

Yes, that hot blond you met waiting at the doctor’s office and that cute girl at work might be on your mind, but keep it to yourself. Right now, you’re with her. So when she introduces herself, pay attention. Just like you don’t want to hear about the guy she banged last night, she doesn’t want to be mistaken for someone else you’re fantasizing about. You want to seem like you’re into her -- and not anyone else. Even if you’re not actually thinking of another woman, you want to make it clear that you are listening to her. If you forget her name, chances are you will not be able to backtrack out of that flub.

She met someone else

It sucks, but there isn’t much you can do about this one. It might be only two days later, but a lot can happen in a short time span. As amazing as the chemistry might have been, she could have met someone else with whom the chemistry is even more intense (which is why she didn't call you back). Just because you think she’s hotter than Kim Kardashian doesn’t mean that she thinks you’re all that. Think of it as the difference between a burger and a filet mignon: The best thing you can do is move on and realize she clearly wasn’t the right one for you.

It took you too long to call

With people practically glued to their phones these days, we all know that everyone -- even your 80-year-old grandmother -- is accessible. It’s not like you have to deal with a landline and an answering machine. Waiting more than three days to ask her out again is just plain suicide. She’ll likely think you’re not interested or you’re playing games, and she’ll be over you like last year’s handbag. You might find a woman who will still respond to your advances, but do you really want to go out with a woman who’s that desperate? A woman who has her act together won’t enjoy being treated like an afterthought. If you really dig her, send her a short text the next day saying you had a great time and would love to see her again. You don’t have to make plans the next day; just let her know you’re thinking about her and will call her later. Read on to discover more reasons why she didn't call you back...

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» Sleeping At Her Place

Sleeping At Her Place This player has spent his share of nights sleeping at her place. With each morning, I have risen and exited with mutual satisfaction, mutual respect and an invitation to return. I've discussed how to pick up and how to conduct one’s self as a Player. Now we talk about one of the most harrowing of situations: sleeping at her place. Many a well-taught and equally well-trained Player has stumbled in this area. Wants and desires can be satisfied in her abode, but Players have a code and have style. Prepare yourself with these rules.

rule no. 1

Don’t send the wrong signals

Players do not break hearts. We do not leave a trail of dashed women behind as we pursue the next lay and layover. While the obvious wrong signal is to say “I love you” when it is not meant, there are others. These mistakes send the message that the sexual experience is more romantic and momentous than simple mutual gratification. This must be understood at the very beginning before a single piece of clothing comes off.  Actions to avoid include an intimate breakfast, spooning in the afterglow and making plans for what to do when you rise from the bed, couch or wherever you two have enjoyed one another. Starry-eyed stares over breakfast, cooking, bringing meals to bed, and cuddling post-coitus are acts that tell her this is more than it really is. If these acts are headed your way, be upfront and complimentary but not rude and insulting. Remember that you are not out to ignore this beautiful lady, as she has just shared something amazing with you. Treating her with silence or indifference not only is beneath a player, but it is insulting. There are compromises and roads in between the wrong signal of over-involvement and the icy tundra of apathy. A quick breakfast before parting is an appropriate exit. A sincere embrace before walking out the door is acceptable.

rule no. 2

Keep it fun

Spending the night does not automatically mean eight intense hours of dramatic sex. First, few will experience eight hours of intense, life-changing lovemaking (remember, you’re Player in training). Feel free to do other entertaining things together. Consider watching a movie (not a chick flick or she may get the wrong signal) or think about talking over drinks while watching the city from her view. Avoid serious conversations that delve into one another's backgrounds or upbringings. Keep the talking light and seasoned with flirtation and the appropriate amount of innuendo. Will keeping it fun lead to sex? More than likely. The more relaxed and at ease a woman is, the more likely her libido will reflect this. Consider the moments after a heated pillow fight or teasing battle with desserts in the kitchen. These can easily translate into sexual activity that you will both enjoy and not confuse with romance.  Be sure to avoid being goofy or silly. Anyone less than a Player would go overboard and treat this eager and sexually charged young lady as if she was a dorm buddy. Having too much fun without aiming toward pleasure and sleeping at her place will ultimately give her one of two wrong ideas: One, she will find your humor and entertainment to be so enjoyable that your sex appeal will diminish rapidly. You will fall from a craved male to a court jester. Secondly, she will take your humor and entertainment to mean that you have no interest in her sexually. Now she will feel rejected and eager to tell her girlfriends about you in less than flattering discussions.The Players rules for sleeping at her place continue...

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» Swingers 101

Here you will find some of the most relevant and up to date swingers information to help make your experience in the swing lifestyle as enjoyable as possible Learn how to create your new swingers personal ad and responding to emails to different swing terms and meanings This ia lifestyle full of fun and exciting swingers parties and swingers clubs and it will provide you with many opportunities to make and meet some life long friends. There are many benefits when couples enter into a swinging lifestyle. Swingers get to explore their sexuality and sensuality in new ways that they find are not easily accepted in traditional communities They get to dress up at swinger parties and swinger clubs and explore their wild and adventerous sides They get a chance to let loose from the day-to-day chores of their normal lives to be free and express themselves in various different and exciting ways. Swinging it a good way for bi-curious women and men to explore their potential bisexuality without becoming involved in the lesbian or gay community where many may feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. Swinging allows both men and women the opportunity to reject monogamy and feel free from others who may judge their choices in life. Individuals can also explore and learn lots more about their sexual interests. Swinging can enhance a relationship and the commitment involved in the couples relationship It allows them to act out fantasies to enhance an already active sex life and take it to another level For any bi-curious or bi-sexual singles or swinger couples who wants to enter into swinging it usually requires a strong level of trust and security. For many people watching their partner sexually involved with another is obviously very hot and arousing in and of itself. By becoming a swinger it also allows you and your partner to make many new friends in the lifestyle who share the same joy in swinging. A swingers lifestyle is free from a world of judgements and boredom. The swingers lifestyle simply gives and receives pleasure and many different levels. There are, however, a few important things to remember if you are looking to enter a swinger lifestyle: -No one should swing unless they really want to. -No one should ever go into a swinging lifestyle if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner -Couples should always abide by the NO means NO rule and no partner should ever force their significant other to do something they wish not to do A swingers lifestyle is based upon communication more then any other factor. Couples involved in the swingers lifestyle should have the ability to talk openly about there feelings with one another as this is the cornerstone to making this lifestyle choice one that you will enjoy for many years to come. Learning to do this must precede any decision or discussion of entering the lifestyle because without it you may find yourselves feeling insecure with one another or worse yet lose the trust you once shared.

» Hotwife and Couples

Have you experienced meeting a hotwife or couple on a site such as Hotwife Locator and arranged an offline meeting where all involved sat around for a couple of hours making small chit chat while everyone sat there basically looking around the room and at one another wondering who will be brave enough to make the proverbial first move? As many of you may know… WOW, that can be so incredibly awkward. Hopefully, there will be at least one person in the group who will take the initative to make that all important first sexual contact. But, if not, here is your chance to be more informed and assume the role of that one person and get the party started. The best way to break the ice is to sexually arouse your partner first. Get the “ball rolling” with your own partner and once everyone starts to get a bit more warmed up, then swap partners. Many single women who enjoy participating in the swingers lifestyle do not fancy just sitting around but would rather be more aggressive and help intiate the fun. A female joining a couple may want to simply watch them at first before becoming involved. The same scenario is adequate for a male joining a couple. Whatever is agreed upon by all involved is the best way to proceed.

» Swinging 101: Benefits for Adult Dating Swingers

Swinging 101: Benefits for Adult Dating Swingers Swinging does bring open minded couples together as they are able to share fantasies and experiences together and truly get to know one another. If your relationship has a strong emotional bond from the beginning you will talk more about what is important to each other and what you are both looking to get out of this swingers lifestyle….and not only about the sex part! Discovering things about your partner that you didn’t know can certainly help strengthen the bond between you….especially if those things are sexual. Sexual desires and fantasies are not easy to talk about for most people, but the single most important pre requisite for a successful swinging experience is to discuss boundaries before you take the plunge. Rushing into something head first can have dire consequences, which is another reason why swingers clubs are running beginners nights. It helps them and it helps you by finding out what your relationship is really like before you do something that you both may possibly regret. What you will find in the swinging scene is that a great deal of people have a preference for a particular way to swing (a threesome, foursome or group swinging) and being open from the beginning will enable you to find what excites you the most as well. 1.Defining these borders is critical for a beginner or newbie swinger, and it isn’t easy to do without trying it. 2.Are you open minded? Then give swinging a shot… 3.But always be open and honest with one another! The basics of Swinging — see Swingers 101: Information for Adult Swingers New to the Swinging Lifestyle — is found in the openness of people active in the sexual swinging lifestyle. The Swingers Lifestyle is as simple as swing, finding oneself living out loud an intimate sexuality fulfilled by the sexual nature of “the swinging lifestyle,” and to experience an engagement of several non-monogamous acts of partner swapping. Some of the intimate sexual activities are: Full swinging — see Full Swap Swinging — is having penetrative sex with someone other than one`s partner Soft swinging — see Soft Swap Swinging — is kissing, stroking, or having oral sex with a third or fourth person Threesomes — see Threesome – is a form of group sex involving three people of any combination Group sex – see Group Sex — is sexual behavior involving three or more participants at the same time Voyeurism — see Voyeurism – is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other activity usually considered to be of a private nature Exhibitionism – see Exhibitionism (or flashing) – is the act of briefly exposing one’s body in a usually sexual way, acceptable or not depending on context